18 years later, and still stalking Ed...

This post has taken a week of crazy life events to create... It ends with me settling into an unexpected vacation, sick with what Jim calls my "Jam Cold", reliving last week in this post and rocking out to PJs new album - Backspacer...

Pre-story
On a 102 degree day 8 weeks ago, I "worked" from home. I had just returned from my girl's week at the Canal. When I checked my email prior to returning to work, I had a scathing, furious, screaming email from my boss about something so stupid, it would make you laugh. I went to work that Monday, and barely made it through the day - I was so upset at the way my boss handled a non-issue like a 12 yr old teenage girl that I took Tuesday off. Spent the day in my cool, dark basement, and searched for a way out... I found a job at Amazon. A job I was qualified for... It took about 2 seconds for me to decide that the risk was worth it - a non-existent commute, an amazing job, a true retail company, and mission that I supported in a big financial way. I had two brutal phone interviews, followed by an intense 7 hours onsite. I got a heads up in mid-September that they were "reaching out to my references"...

Monday

Big Day... Pearl Jam concert number one. I was a wreck. Still no word from Amazon. My CONFIRMED references weren't connecting with the Amazon recruiter. September at Starbucks is a total waste - end of year, and everyone is on vacation. Didn't sleep Sunday night - a familiar ritual the past 8 weeks. Started work early, and took off early to hit will call for my Ten Club tix. I was a zombie, drugged out on Airborne and Propel trying to stay well for my 48 hours of Pearl Jam love.

Kevin and I planned to sit together, since we were the two with active 10c numbers, and take

the best of the two sets of tickets, leaving Jim and Jordan with the "nosebleed" seats.

What we did not expect was FRONT ROW CENTER!!! I've been to over 20 PJ shows since 1992. One of my first shows was the Gorge with Blind Melon in 1993 (?). I sat "front row" in the mosh pit. That was the last time. It was a different time - Eddie was married to Beth Liebling, and I was a teenager in high school - angry and unappreciative. Anyway, Jim and Jordan ended up in section 113, while Kevin and I spent an intimate evening with my boys...

Monday was amazing... Stressful. It's hard to be "onstage" for the band in the front row. I felt like I had to earn my seats by rocking out, and constantly showing Ed that I was into his gig - which I was... My natural state would have been to stare dreamily into his eyes while singing back at him at the top of my lungs - not so appropriate when he can see, and LIKELY hear me.

The set list was okay, since it was made up of a ton of new stuff, which I barely knew. What was FUCKING amazing was having my "Number One" reach out across the security aisle and hand me his bottle of wine at the end of the show. DID YOU READ THAT?!!?! I have stalked Eddie in some capacity for 18 years, and on Monday, HE REACHED OUT TO ME. I ended up sharing the bottle with all of the crazy PJ 10c members surrounding me. Given past behavior, I am surprised that I didn't just shut down at that point. See it and weep...

In EV's hands...

In Ricki's hands...

Jim didn't want a good $29 bottle of Italian Barolo from Costco to go to waste.

Tuesday
Went to work. On a high from sharing a bottle of wine with my Number One. About 30 mins before my 1:1 with my Boss, Amazon called and presented an Amazing offer. I was shaking, asking myself how I got so lucky. I gave notice shortly after, and within an HOUR was ESCORTED out of the building - my employment with ATT over, boxes in hand, totally humiliated, and 2 weeks of "notice pay" stolen from me due to a perceived conflict of interest. Not so lucky.

Round two of PJ shows, this time it was just Kevin and I in row 5. Yeah, ROW 5!!! To all you lay people... That means my LOW, LOW member number puts me in the top 3 rows of PJ 10c fans.

I rock, so did PJ. Kev got EV's guitar pick. I got a sweet ass recollection of historic PJ songs including Present Tense, which ranks up at the top for me. I also got to enjoy the show - spending the whole 2 hour set doing what I wanted to do the night before - STARE at EV and dream about how great our life together would have been had the stars aligned... Here are some sweet shots of my man over the two nights...

On Wednesday morning, I woke up groggy and unable to cope with the energy of spending 4 hours intimate with Eddie Vedder, getting my dream job, and losing the worst job ever. Got acupuncture, saw my therapist, cried a bunch, and got my period four days early. I spent Wednesday evening walking along Lincoln Park beach looking for EV Amongst the Waves, then quietly stalking him while driving Beach Drive looking for his house.

How would I know it was house? I don't know, I just would... We shared a bottle of wine.

I can't believe my week. I start at Amazon on Monday. I have one week to relax, grieve my experience at ATT, and listen to PJ non stop... Little sick, I know, but I am going thru the Jam Cold...

Radically 80s

Lana captured my radically cool niece in full 80s gear (tshirt c/o auntie). I had to post!! Is it wrong to totally embrace that diva-deliciousness of a toddler?

Anticipation...

I am back on the blog. It’s the colder nights, and absence of new TV.


For the first time in months, I woke up before the sun. Slightly – it was that early morning twilight. The horizon was red and the east sides of all of the buildings in the city were sparkly pink, with a low fog above Elliott Bay, caught between the shipyards and the Viaduct. It was spectacular, and made me want to turn on the fireplace, grab a light blanket, my dog and a cup of coffee and watch the day unfold.


Unfortunately, I had to race to my vanpool. It was 6:15am. I was in a coma. I am not a morning person, as most everyone knows, and the only way I would even see the sunrise, is if I was taking my van. I have a love/hate relationship with the van. It’s early, too early, but worth the effort to avoid traffic, especially during Mariner’s season. The worst part is the “all the hits all the time” Jack FM radio destroying whatever semblance of peace remained from my sleep… This morning I woke up to Margaritaville… Fabulous.


Is it wrong to look forward to fall before Labor Day?
Waking up to a cold house, turning on the fireplace, and stepping into a hot shower
Saturday morning SBUX stops, and then walks with Cash in the leaves at Lincoln
Sunday mornings in the den with my boys, football, coffee and breakfast
Crisp evening runs with gloves, ear covers and a cold, red nose
Beers with friends in a warm West 5 amid discarded coats, scarves and hats
Reading in my living room with no noise but the weather, surrounded by warm light, and a fire
Falling asleep with the windows open on a windy, rainy night
Shadows, lots of thin light, and dark shadows
House MD
Gossip Girl
Project Runway
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl
Chuck Bass
Chuck Bass
Chuck Bass
Chuck Bass


A visual representation of last year…

It's Really A Little Freaky, and So Hot

So this picture... It's not Jim, it's RP. From this angle, it's a little scary though the similarities... It makes me a little happy really...

Jim doesn't know this yet, but I am so making him re-create this photo... I will post. PROMISE!

There's No Crying in Baseball!!!

Something very special happened to me yesterday.

Very, very special. Can you feel my sarcasm?

As most of you know, I am struggling between the personal expectations of I have of myself and where I am in my career today…

Yesterday, I went into my boss’ office to discuss a deck I put together on her request with very little information to act on. It was a beautiful, well organized deck, and I just had questions to clarify her request. It WAS NOT in the template that she had provided, but it WAS like another deck that she told me to reference. The template was garbage, unorganized and completely incoherent. I chose the latter path. I was NOT RIGHT. I was very, very stupid to even ask. I left feeling like the world’s stupidest human, and cried at my desk – feeling horrible for even asking. There is NO CRYING in baseball!!!

Later in the day, I had a one-on-one with her, which is corporate speak for a meeting to discuss what I am working on, and just talk with her… I spent the day wrapping my head around why I responded the way I did. I was a little gun shy, as usual, going into the meeting. I kicked it off with… “I don’t feel like there are any opportunities for me to overachieve.”

She said something along the lines of… “Now is not a time to overachieve. I need you to operate within the constraints that the economy is requiring. I need you to focus on getting these small chunks out.”

I ended the day in a conference call with 3 other members of my team trying to figure out what our boss wanted, no one had any idea, and we stumbled through it… Landing on a template just as bad as the original. I took comfort in the low expectations, and that I wasn’t the only one… I don’t like it.

I crave progress. I must over achieve. I will not operate within boxes and low expectations.

In the spirit of sarcasm, I am so, so EXCITED to go to work today, tomorrow, and the day after!

How easy would it be for YOU to get motivated now??!?!?!?!?!

What do I do now? This isn’t the job I was hired for, or wanted. The economy sucks. I can learn a lot at AT&T. How do I overachieve within the constraints of mediocracy?

VIPs

Moo Delicious

Kept myself up until 2am this morning re-reading Whitney My Love for at least the 5th time. Every time I've read it, I've gone through the same roller coaster of emotions. For the first time in at least 15 years, I read it last night, and really was upset by the closing scene where he throws Whitney out of the house because he thinks she's three months preggers with another man's baby, when Clayton Westmoreland, her HUSBAND, took her viriginity... WHAT YOU SAY?!? Serious. Still the best book ever written, but now I am reading it with grown up filters, and I am a little upset... And disappointed in my inability see the book through slightly tinted glasses.

Woke up this morning, went to the park with my boys.

Jimmy with "wings" is my most favorite.

My boo, looking as handsome as always.

Went to Everett to see my Moo today, who is seriously the most beautiful child, in both her diva temperment and her sweet face. Spent some time at a public park in Everett, which is always fun people watching... Then watched my Moo POO into a training potty. Awesome. She is, of course, beyond brilliant at 14 months, and could not be attributed to Lana putting Moo on the potty, squatting and making painful pushing noises...

Moo does this silly thing where she "backs" herself into you or a chair and sits down.

Yes... You are seeing the picture correctly. Moo has attached herself to a scary, acrylic-haired, sweet smelling strawberry shortcake doll from 1984.

I am so tired... Thinking of starting Remember When... Don't know if I will make it...

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

My mom called me at 9:45 Sunday morning, and again at 10:30am. Even if my head hadn't been buried under blankets and pillows, I wouldn't have heard it. I was sleeping. When I called her back at 11:00am, shortly after waking up, she shared a conversation she had with my aunt Vicki about how she didn't even know if I was awake at 9:45. Was it normal for people in their early 30s to sleep until noon? Did her middle child still sleep like a teenager?

Yes, and I wasn't even "sleeping off" the night before. What's the threshold?

It was a telling, and somewhat appalling way to start off a weekend day...

So, the reason for my 11:oo am wake up was a group of us had "volunteered" for a farmers coalition event on Sunday called Food Lust. It was 7 hours of pure hell. A great event, a great location (Fall City Farms), a great cause, but a horrible volunteer experience. We treated like children who couldn't be trusted with the "adults". We were told that we couldn't drink, forced to eat whatever was left from behind a "curtain" from the volunteers table so we didn't distrupt the event, and taken to task by the "volunteer coordinator" over our inability to manage through their cluster-fuck of attendee/donation processing. Our volunteer coordinator who had talked down to us at the beginning of the event, and then disappeared into the throng of attendees. I had to physically remove myself from the situation on multiple occasions to sip from my coffee cup of wine hidden behind "the curtain", so that I didn't flip out and pull a "do you know who I am?!?!"

I am volunteer, someone who is helping you out. I am giving my time. I expect to be treated well. More importantly, I am also a potential donor.

The whole thing was exhausting. I am weak sauce, and no longer able to spend 7 hours on my feet like the spry girl I used to be. I needed to sleep for many, many hours. The best part of everyting was the FARM ANIMALS!!! Horses, cows, goats, chickens!!! It was a little disconcerting that they were grilling burgers right near Fred and Ethel below...

I spent the rest of Sunday reading romance novels, yes two. Taking the requisite post- This Duchess of Mine nap, going on an extended bike ride with the husband, AND OH MY GOD!!! I almost forgot!

I AM 99.99% sure I saw EDDIE VEDDER AT THE PARK!!! Asleep, all hot and dreamy on a bench with his faithful dog at his side. I was riding so fast on my bike that I couldn't slow down and gawk like I wanted to... It was probably better that way. He probably wouldn't be very comfortable with me staring at him, acting stupid and then passing out.

THIS IS WHO I SAW. No kididng.

All in all, tons of sleep, an EV sighting, a hard bike ride, two romance novels, and a short stint in my garden should qualify as a pretty good Sunday.


Sweet dreams. I know mine are.

Why I love my Jim...

Conversation from last night...

Jim: So I was thinking of watching a little double feature - Wall E and the Second Narnia, or whatever. You should watch them with me.

Me: Ahhh no, I have a date with Jillian this evening...

Jim: So, umm, yeah... When does the new Twilight come out again?

Me: Why? Do you want to watch it again, for the third time since it came out on DVD?

Jim: defensively... No! I was just wondering that's all.

Me: 11.20.09

You're Just an LA Girl... You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things.

SFO, day two...

We started off the day sitting in Jewell's apartment drinking coffee, shooting the shit and watching Marc futzing around the apartment in his dalmation boxers. Actually, we were all trying to avoid looking at Marc for fear of catching a glimpse of his prize.

It's not that we'd drank a ton the night before, or stayed up late, we just couldn't get moving... All wrapped up in chatting and reminiscing... We didn't leave Noe valley until after 1, and embraced the Rat Pack at The Elite Cafe where bloody mary's and deviled eggs were the order of the day...

SF is a foodie paradise, and shallow pockets after a swanky bfast, resulted in touristy activities to avoid mindless shopping. We headed to Crissy Field, riding low in Marc's Tic Tac on wheels. It was deceptively cold and windy, but diverting... Notice Lassie's 'spensive scarf wrapped snuggly around Jimbo's neck.

We found ourselves back in Noe wasting time, where I found out Cash had lost his best friend to a battle with cancer. It was a sad moment, and I decided to go for a run up and down the hills of Noe in remembrance of a good dog. While out, Sweetpickles and the Classie Lassie decided to open a bottle of Champagne and finish an open bottle of 4.99 Yellow Tail red.

After a brutal and burning run, I found two loopy ladies ready for dinner and a night on the town... We didn't go far... Italian around the corner and the Valley Tavern to close out the night... We met up with two drunk, under-fed boys armed with souvenir orange plastic tumblers from the Giants. In fact, Amy and her new boyfriend danced their way through a clearly discotheque-free environment.

I went to check out, pay the bill... The POS was down, and the stoned bartender tried to convince me to write out my cc number, and sign against an "open bill". WTF? I don't think so. I gave her $20. She asked me about what she was going to do if the bill was higher, and in my own special, direct way, said "I don't understand how this is my problem?!?" I left the bar, and burning bridges in San Francisco behind me...

We hit the streets, climbed our way back to Case del Noe, and decided to rock our bodies to a little Kanye... Dance party USA, white people movin', drinkin' and trying not to wake the neighbors. I was completely sober, rockin' my Heartless sunglasses, and laughing my ass of at Marc's sippy cup of Maker's, closed eyes, and gentle swaying to Paranoid.

We fell into Lassie's cushass bed for a night of deep snores, drunkin sweats, and a undisturbed 10 hours...

I do not appreciate you appraoching me in this way...

My trip to SF...


Notice the twins above...

Arrived at Classie Lassie's in Noe at 8:30 after a sweet, ultra cool, iPod ride in the Virgin American express to SFO. We "chated" seat-to-seat, watched NBA live, listened to an assortment of music, and "browsed" the online movies...

We ended up walking a mile to the Mission for dinner, and planting ourselves outside Emmy's Spaghetti Shack with beer and wine while we waited 45 mins for our table.

While we were waiting a small hispanic guy with only two front teeth, cane and a slight hunch approached Jim with an "Hola Senior" and a sales pitch to get pennies for a taco. Jim said no... He came to me, and went to shake my hand, I said "i am not going to shake your hand..." The he started his spiel, and I said: "I do not appreciate you approaching me in this way..." At which point he said something to the effect of: "I do not appreciate your bad attitude!" Accent free, standing straight up, and apparently no worse for the wear. Oh, and the best part was he SPIT in my direction!?!?!

I barely drank, ate late, got back to Noe, and passed out in Jewell's sahweet bed. TTFN.

I'm gonna make your day...

OMG - GET OUT!!!! GET OUT!!!!

He's UNCOVERED, IN DAYLIGHT and even BETTER!!! The black dots give him the digital "Sparkle".

YUMMY. Yummy. yummy..............................

Okay, so I keep coming back to this post, and I can't stop thinking about how happy his "trail" makes me.




For more photos from the set of new moon, check here... Looks Hot and I can't WAIT!!!
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20281449,00.html

Junction Girl heads to SF this weekend... I will blog.

My Special Day

So, I just found out that I need to add Jillian Harris, aka the bachelorette to my already lauded list of people born on December 30th. I knew we shared something special.

We are a special group.
Jillian Harris
Bo Diddley
Heidi Fleiss
Tiger Woods (same day, same year)
LeBron James (greatest BB player ever)
Davy Jones (monkey)
Rudyard Kipling
Sandy Koufax
Matt Lauer (today show)
Meredith Viera (today show)
Jim Marshall (famous football)
Mike Nesmith (monkey)
Del Shannon
Tracey Ullman
Tyrone Willingham (worst Huskies football coach ever)
Titus
Tyrese
Erika

I am a very special person.

The Right Stuff...

http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_8/performances/kris_allen_heartless

I WAS RIGHT!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!!

there are no words to express how this makes me feel...

I'm in love with a girl...

So now that Gossip Girl is over, I am on to the Bachelorette. Watched the premier last night, and OMG, I am addicted, and...

A little in love with Jillian.

Of the 30 guys presented to her, I would say 25 were single for any of the following reasons:

• They wanted the exposure of ABC primetime
• Not interested in women or confused, seriously.
• Lame, since they actually watched the Bachelor last season. I mean, really, what self-respecting DUDE watches the Bachelor?
• Afflicted with OCD, there was this guy with an obscene obsession with feet. Ew.
• Not single. During the "coming up this season on the Bachelorette" section, they actually said there were men on the show with girlfriends. I cried for her.
• Obviously off their rocker, specifically this body builder guy who was obsessed with his body and highly competitive.
• All of the above.

So excited. I love the drama. I love that Jillian is funny, cool, self depricating and plays the "cute" card, eventhough she's obviously beautiful.

In some ways, I feel like she is living the dream for smart, career-driven, "cute" girls everywhere, and I love her for it.

I watched the "coming up this season on the Bachelorette" section three times. That's how excited I am.

If you've never watched it, you should - it's available for free download on ABC.com.

Can't wait for Mondays!!!!

It's my time...

Too many blogs, I know. I hope you will like this one...

So here I go... Things I will discuss...

Romance novels
Reality TV (Jillian)
Hot Presidents
Gossip Girl
Vampire Love
House
Jim
Maizey
Weekend Boils
Travel plans

Any requests? Any topics I am particularly good at?

Totally narcissistic, and I don't care.

XOXO