Pre-story
On a 102 degree day 8 weeks ago, I "worked" from home. I had just returned from my girl's week at the Canal. When I checked my email prior to returning to work, I had a scathing, furious, screaming email from my boss about something so stupid, it would make you laugh. I went to work that Monday, and barely made it through the day - I was so upset at the way my boss handled a non-issue like a 12 yr old teenage girl that I took Tuesday off. Spent the day in my cool, dark basement, and searched for a way out... I found a job at Amazon. A job I was qualified for... It took about 2 seconds for me to decide that the risk was worth it - a non-existent commute, an amazing job, a true retail company, and mission that I supported in a big financial way. I had two brutal phone interviews, followed by an intense 7 hours onsite. I got a heads up in mid-September that they were "reaching out to my references"...
Monday
Big Day... Pearl Jam concert number one. I was a wreck. Still no word from Amazon. My CONFIRMED references weren't connecting with the Amazon recruiter. September at Starbucks is a total waste - end of year, and everyone is on vacation. Didn't sleep Sunday night - a familiar ritual the past 8 weeks. Started work early, and took off early to hit will call for my Ten Club tix. I was a zombie, drugged out on Airborne and Propel trying to stay well for my 48 hours of Pearl Jam love.
Kevin and I planned to sit together, since we were the two with active 10c numbers, and take
the best of the two sets of tickets, leaving Jim and Jordan with the "nosebleed" seats.
What we did not expect was FRONT ROW CENTER!!! I've been to over 20 PJ shows since 1992. One of my first shows was the Gorge with Blind Melon in 1993 (?). I sat "front row" in the mosh pit. That was the last time. It was a different time - Eddie was married to Beth Liebling, and I was a teenager in high school - angry and unappreciative. Anyway, Jim and Jordan ended up in section 113, while Kevin and I spent an intimate evening with my boys...
Monday was amazing... Stressful. It's hard to be "onstage" for the band in the front row. I felt like I had to earn my seats by rocking out, and constantly showing Ed that I was into his gig - which I was... My natural state would have been to stare dreamily into his eyes while singing back at him at the top of my lungs - not so appropriate when he can see, and LIKELY hear me.
The set list was okay, since it was made up of a ton of new stuff, which I barely knew. What was FUCKING amazing was having my "Number One" reach out across the security aisle and hand me his bottle of wine at the end of the show. DID YOU READ THAT?!!?! I have stalked Eddie in some capacity for 18 years, and on Monday, HE REACHED OUT TO ME. I ended up sharing the bottle with all of the crazy PJ 10c members surrounding me. Given past behavior, I am surprised that I didn't just shut down at that point. See it and weep...
In EV's hands...
In Ricki's hands...
Jim didn't want a good $29 bottle of Italian Barolo from Costco to go to waste.
Tuesday
Went to work. On a high from sharing a bottle of wine with my Number One. About 30 mins before my 1:1 with my Boss, Amazon called and presented an Amazing offer. I was shaking, asking myself how I got so lucky. I gave notice shortly after, and within an HOUR was ESCORTED out of the building - my employment with ATT over, boxes in hand, totally humiliated, and 2 weeks of "notice pay" stolen from me due to a perceived conflict of interest. Not so lucky.
Round two of PJ shows, this time it was just Kevin and I in row 5. Yeah, ROW 5!!! To all you lay people... That means my LOW, LOW member number puts me in the top 3 rows of PJ 10c fans.
I rock, so did PJ. Kev got EV's guitar pick. I got a sweet ass recollection of historic PJ songs including Present Tense, which ranks up at the top for me. I also got to enjoy the show - spending the whole 2 hour set doing what I wanted to do the night before - STARE at EV and dream about how great our life together would have been had the stars aligned... Here are some sweet shots of my man over the two nights...
On Wednesday morning, I woke up groggy and unable to cope with the energy of spending 4 hours intimate with Eddie Vedder, getting my dream job, and losing the worst job ever. Got acupuncture, saw my therapist, cried a bunch, and got my period four days early. I spent Wednesday evening walking along Lincoln Park beach looking for EV Amongst the Waves, then quietly stalking him while driving Beach Drive looking for his house.
How would I know it was house? I don't know, I just would... We shared a bottle of wine.
I can't believe my week. I start at Amazon on Monday. I have one week to relax, grieve my experience at ATT, and listen to PJ non stop... Little sick, I know, but I am going thru the Jam Cold...
